Here you are visiting my blog instead of enjoying a romantic dinner with someone special, socializing with friends at party, or having an invigorating run in the park. So, I assume you’re single, alone, and unfit. Sorry about that, and welcome to my very first blog post ever, where I’ve spent my very first paragraph ever discovering what a tedious chore it is writing a blog post. I’ve only written five sentences and I’m ready for a break. Let’s all take a short break. You can play phone games or eat cookies or do whatever it is people do when they’re alone, single, and unfit…

cookiephone

….And we’re back. Yes, here we are. Blogging away. Bloggity blog blog. That’s ten sentences I’ve written so far, including this one and what I wrote before the break. This one makes eleven. Now we’ve got twelve. Now thirteen. Fourteen. By now you may wonder why am I doing this. I certainly am. Why am I blogging? Why does one blog? To blog or not to blog? That is the question. Whether one is sober enough at the time to copy the links to narrow views of outrageous morons, or to take aim at a sea of tweeters and by composing, friend them?

I’d  like to tell you that I decided to start a blog out of a desire to inspire, motivate, enlighten, share, and give something of myself to others, but really I was just bored and needed something to do.

I’m not feeling inclined to come up with anything else to write about at the moment, so I might as well take you through the steps I followed to create this blog so that you  can appreciate all the trouble I’ve gone to for you – my readers.

I discovered that there are (surprise,  surprise) Twelve Steps to creating a blog. Since one Twelve Step program is pretty much like another, if you follow them all the way through you will likely find yourself thinner, cured of any drug addictions, and freed of all toxic relationships, in addition to being an expert on starting a blog.

Like all creators of Twelve Step programs, I suffered the consequences of doing everything wrong and made all kinds of mistakes, which I now know how to avoid. Once I generously impart my wisdom on the subject to you, you will be able to avoid them, too. I should be charging big bucks for this, but I’m in a benificent mood so I’ll let you in on my Twelve Steps for free out of the goodness of my heart. It will have to wait until I get around to my next post, though, because I think I’ve blogged enough for one day and I need to rest.

Until…whenever

Lazy and Hazy